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29 May 2009

Crossroads

I feel in limbo, stuck between things that I think I want to do - things I feel quietly speaking to me in my heart - and things that They know they want me to do, things They think are right, are proper, are conventional, and ordinary. But my dreams are bigger than that, my hopes loftier.

I want to touch the sky. I want to be bigger than this small human I am. I want to be wise and sure and unfaltering.

But instead, full of fear, I am still, neither moving ahead nor up, waiting, perhaps, for someone else to make the decision for me. I am unmoving while life flashes by, a year - two - gone in an instant.

When will I ever have the courage to follow my heart? Is it unwise to do so? Should I really stick to the safe plan, the uninteresting plan, the let-other-people-decide-for-me plan?

How does one ever really know if that voice deep down in one's Soul, speaking ever so softly, is wisdom or selfish stupidity?

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