14 August 2010

This Moment

Oh, my loves, where to begin? Please forgive me for the sparse postings as of late; the past week or two has been filled with frustration, tears, and trepidation as I choose a path for the next part of my journey. (Could you perhaps guess by my last post?) And, just two days ago, and a huge decision was made: I am going back to school this fall. Hooray! This means I will be moving taking - taking another leap of faith - in just two weeks' time.

I am not one who makes big decisions gracefully. I worry about making the "right" one (when in truth there is no "right" choice) and I fear that I will be forever confined to the choice I have made. I do not like eliminating opportunities by choosing one path to tread, and so often find myself lingering in limbo, neither moving forward nor experiencing any of the opportunities I might have had had I acted.

In the midst of all this struggle, I translated my inner turmoil onto paper. Taking a photograph of how I felt in that moment, surrounded by chaos, confusion, and uncertainty, I captured a single moment in my life - an unpleasant one. I printed the image and added color and detail. As I worked, my seething emotions ebbed, and the calm that stood in their place if only for a little while was absolutely lovely. I hope to work this painting into my art journal soon.

Dearests, yes, your art journal is a place for you to celebrate beauty, joy, and gratitude; but remember that it is also a good friend with eternally open arms. Into its pages you are invited to spill sorrow, anger, hurt - any negative emotion that weighs on your heart and mind. Your art journal will never judge you nor spill your secrets. You are a complex being, filled with the lightest light and the darkest dark, and that is what makes us such interesting, beautiful creatures. Do not be afraid to pour your heart onto its pages, weep, mourn, rage, splutter; express all of yourself, both the beautiful and the ugly.

Let your art journal reflect who you are - body, mind, and spirit!

PS. I will be buying art supplies for Tomo this week! A thousand thank-yous to each and every one of you who has been so, so generous in helping a new art journaler realize her dream. For more information on this project and to find out how to help, please read this post.


Brandi said...

One of the greatest things about life is that you can never predict what will happen when you set out on a path. You're never eliminating choices; if they arrive, they just may do so when least expected. I'm so excited that you're going back to school, Ingrid. I think it's going to be a wonderfully positive, productive experience for you. We always learn so much about ourselves while we're learning.

Dyche Designs said...

Wow, congratulations on having the courage to go after what you want and go back to school. Change can be scary but often when you look back you find yourself wondering why you didn't do things sooner as they weren't as bad as you invisaged. Have fun learning.

chel said...

CONGRATULATIONS!! Going back to school is a dream of mine, too- I'm still unsure if I'd go back for art history or museum studies or for an MFA. Something about art, though. I hope you share more about your studies with us- until I can get back to the books, I LOVE hearing about others who are doing it. Best wishes on your journey! So amazing!!

Abby said...

Sounds like a very brave choice to make! I applaud that, and support you all the way. It takes a lot of faith to do something like that, and I admire you for that.

I'm the kind of person who makes big impulsive decisions and sometimes regrets them. Sometimes it's good to have balance.

Tomo said...

gosh, I read this in tears when I was reaching the end. First, congrats on making such a big decision. I admire you for that. I'll be doing the same in such a short time away!

also, I agree with the fact that your art journal is a place to poor every emotion into. I've done quite a few "angry" pages, and I cry and scream in my head. I have to wonder, have you ever made such a page before? Because it sounded like you were a little new to it. Just wondering.

I wish you luck on your new journey, Ingrid! :)


Lianne said...

That's great Ingrid! Such a courageous decision to go back to school!

Lovely post! I think you are the sweetest and most caring person I have ever met.


Michelle said...

That's wonderful darling! Making decisions is definitely not one of my strong points either. Congratulations on figuring this out.

I make these angry/frustrated pages all the time, actually, probably more often than I make happy ones. Not because I'm more often unhappy, but I think I'm more driven to create when I need to get something off my chest.

Thanks for such a genuine post. You are a beautiful person and you've made such a brave decision. Congratulations!


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