28 January 2011

Toward the Light

I have to admit, I am so happy to be back at university. I was completely dreading it, but I find that here I am finally able to begin decompressing and looking objectively at how I've grown and changed over the past few months. (Especially on days when so much snow falls that all classes are cancelled!) I think this year I may have unknowingly begun a journey into some serious self exploration! Perhaps as I discover new things and rethink old beliefs, fears, and goals I will find my way back to my passion for creating. I feel I must, for the time being, anyway, follow where my intuition leads.

With such extreme change happening around me, I have failed to recognize changes occurring within. I've suddenly noticed that I am drawn to new colors - pale pinks, creams, and turquoises - as well as things (images and clothes, for example) feminine, delicate, and soft. In the past, I was (and at moments still am) attracted to bold, bright, energetic colors, colors that suggested action and strength and vivacity; I was never a fond of what I very judgmentally considered "girly" or "weak" colors or design. Yet here I am, wearing neutrals and pinks and wanting to dress in lace dresses and put flowers in my hair.

I really believe that this is an important representation of some inner change I can't quite understand or explain as of yet, and want to see where this world of pastels and softness will take me. This change is so sudden and surprising that I must admit that I'm not really sure how to respond to it! But tonight? Tonight I break out the paints and explore a new palette and a new side of myself with no judgment and no expectation of being able to understand perfectly. I'll let my heart do the talking.


Romantic Heroine said...

I know exactly want you mean. One or two years ago I used to dress in bold, bright and energetic colors. Now, I'm attracted to decent and natural/neutral colours. To change the coulours of your clothes is a first sign of a change.

like your new photo. it's lovely.

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

Paint and let your heart soar tonight! (I'll be emailing you soon.)

whollyafool said...

My tastes in colors change every once in awhile, used to be that I was always drawn to really bright, bold colors as well. I still LOVE these colors when I'm in the mood for them, but maybe half a year or so ago I started liking lighter colors a lot, especially in photography - not necessarily in my art though, which is interesting.

I'm glad you are starting to feel more comfortable and settling into your classes - if I've been in a funk or having a hard time I always feel better when I go back to school, I think the routine is helpful.

I just noticed your new photo too (I don't know how new it is, I may have missed it awhile ago) - you are beautiful!

Kat W said...

I have just been catching up on your blog Sorry its been so long since I visited.

I too have been learning to follow my intuition and it has been taking me to unexpected places that I may have missed if I'd been trying to control my direction. I think it sounds like following your intuition & letting it lead you is a good thing. I've no doubt that your colour preferences of late reflect inner change. It is good that you plan to explore with no judgement or expectations. My advice is to be gentle with yourself, enjoy the moment & like you say let your 'heart do the talking'. It sounds to me like you have made great progress & learning of late. You once sent me some art work that encouraged me. I want to send you my support & happy wishes to help you through this time of change & discovery.
Kat X


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