08 November 2011

White Collage / Learning Balance

"You may not be a Picasso or Mozart but you don't have to be. Just create to create. Create to remind yourself you're still alive. Make stuff to inspire others to make something, too. Create to learn a bit more about yourself." - Frederick Terral

For the past few months I have been submerged in a rushing torrent of academic work, struggling against a current so strong I had no time to breathe, sleep, create, or in fact do my best in classes. I found the strength last week - with much help, especially from my dear brother - to let go of a class in which I was doing fairly well academically but which was severely draining me mentally. And, just like that, I find that I am lighter, happier, and have once again found the time to take care of myself and create.

It's a hard lesson learned; I am fiercely dedicated to things to which I commit, and backing out always feels like I am admitting failure. Yet, while perseverance is in many cases seen as a positive trait, neglecting to give yourself what you need is not.

I am on a quest for balance - balance of emotions, in giving and receiving, of selflessness and selfishness. I am learning, slowly, when to say no, and how feel less guilty in acknowledging that I deserve rest, love, and joy. So, today I forced (yep, forced) myself to turn off the computer and phone and paint for an hour. I created the spread above, a collage of papers and gesso and candy wrappers. And I felt lighter, and happier, and that I was taking care of myself.

And I will continue to practice gentleness with me, starting again tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. This, darlings, is a journey of healing through art and self compassion.

What could you do to show yourself kindness?


Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

Oh, Ingrid, showing myself some kindness is exactly what I need to do. I've been so overwhelmed since starting the new job and moving. I still feel like I haven't caught up. And what's worse is that I have so many things on my plate, not all of which I love and they're taking time away from the things I want to do. Time to change all that, I think.

iHanna said...

Thank you dear Ingrid's brother for helping her and standing by her side! Tell him!

Love the page in your journal, and the fact that you understand today the importance of stepping back. Just, please, remember it next time too, and the next time, and the next... I struggle with this too, and its so difficult to do. I've just these past years learned to put down a book I'm reading but not liking and "giving up" on it. Even such small things is difficult when you want to see everything to the finishing line, right?

Let's plan some art journaling this weekend! OK?

Erica said...

I'm glad you dropped a draining class. Sometimes we just need to let go, even if we don't necesarily want to, just to take better care of ourselves.

I haven't shown myself kindness in quite some time. My journals go unwritten in, nothing having been drawn/colored/doodled anything in ages now. I think this weekend I need to take a break and do some things that make me happy. Maybe I'll start working on some Christmas cards. :D

Here is a request for when you have time and patience: will you make a video some day of your collaging process? I just want to watch how you go about making a collage image. Yours are always so pretty, I'm wondering what order you do layers in, etc. I'm always so impressed by your beautiful collage backgrounds, like the one you displayed in this entry. It's absolutely amazing. (Or if you've made a video similar to this before that I have missed, can you link me to it?) I'm aware this is a really selfish request, given the fact how busy you said you've been, but I don't care if it's forever away, it's just something I would really like to see from you some day. And please, if it is something you don't want to commit to... just say no. xox.

Sarah said...

This is such a lovely post! It's a reminder that I most certainly needed. Thank you for sharing :)

Hi, I'm Vicki said...

wow your art journal is so beautiful; I love these pages. Your blog rocks, have a great day xx

Andria said...

Hi Ingrid--I'm new to your blog. I love this collaged spread...just beautiful. Congratulations on making a difficult but necessary decision for your own well-being. It's often difficult to do, but when you feel so free and relieved afterwards, that's a pretty good cue that it was the right choice! I look forward to looking around more of your lovely blog!

ilona said...

I love the white page! I have been craving doing a page all in pastel and white things. I did a all white texture page for my Wreck This Journal Book, and now I want to do one in my regular art journal. Thanks for sharing your journey, we all struggle and sometimes the lessons are in reminding us that we must care for ourselves and be kind and gentle to out beings. Anyway thanks for putting your heart out there and good luck with your quest for balance.

ilona :)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...