Several months ago I agreed to house- and dog-sit for the majority of the summer. My payment was to be free rent in exchange for my services. Unfortunately, the deal fell apart at the last moment, accompanied by some very unprofessional behavior on the other party's part. Through a period of extreme vulnerability, many tears, and support from family and friends, I have learned a valuable lesson in standing up for myself, asking for what I need, knowing when to say no, and pursuing jobs that I truly want and from which I will benefit as much as the employer. Too, from here on, I am determined to distance myself from those who do anything but support and appreciate my talents, skills, and personality.
Unfortunately, this difficult journey of job-hunting (perhaps I only had myself fooled as to how simple it was supposed to be?) has lead to a disappointing realization: I will not be able to move to Germany this fall. There are very few, if any, positions available that I am either interested in or qualified for in the country. The next best solution, though far less than ideal, is to find full-time work, save up, and hope that an opportunity will present itself within the next few years. I am pursuing several jobs that are interesting, in my field, and contain that essential creative component.
But oh, my heart aches. To be so far from my love is hard enough, but that there is, at the moment, no end in sight is pretty crushing. It is going on seven months since we have last seen each other, and will likely be a few more before we are able to reunite. Modern day regulations and country borders and paperwork are so frustrating.
Happier posts are coming soon - I promise!
Sending you love and love and love, sweet souls.