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Moving On


Just one day left. One day to sort through papers and collections and clothes. One day to put my life in boxes and in storage. One more day to soak up everything that this beautiful farm is and has been, to say goodbye to pups and family and my comfort zone.

On Thursday, everything changes.

While packing, I discovered the Millennium Backstreet Boys CD that I spent a whole twenty bucks on when I was about twelve and listened to a hundred million times. (I probably still know all the lyrics.) I found notes from my very first boyfriend, transcripts from high school, a packet of British receipts from when I went on a year-long adventure there alone in 2007, and even a plane ticket from when I traveled with my family to Hawaii in 2004.

I have held onto nearly everything.

And I realized, as I smiled and reminisced and sorted these things into piles to donate or throw away, that I am not only physically releasing these things that I have kept for years and years and years; I am saying goodbye to the past –– to self-doubt, to swirling pools of depression, to completely false perceptions of who I was or had to be –– , letting go, and jumping into my future free of the burdens of years ago.

What beautiful freedom.
(But I'm keeping the CD.)

3 comments:

Romantic Heroine said...

Good luck with everything and may the coming days and months be good ones. To move on is always so exciting and leaving things behind feels so good! Wishing you all the best :)
(To keep the CD was agood decision. Old, favourite songs are connected with wonderful memories :)

Cassandra said...

I had that CD! And I probably still know the lyrics too :P Just found your blog through Twitter. Hope to hear more from you soon!

Erica said...

I hope you are doing ok in your big new world. I'm glad you made the decision to keep the Backstreet Boys CD. Sometimes I wish that something big would happen in my life to spark the need to pack up and move, get rid of a lot of things. But then I get mad at myself for thinking that because the only thing that I could imagine that would cause me to up and leave my little house would be losing Mark and I would never want that, ever, in the slightest sense of the word.

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