How many times over the past few years have I written about returning here, fully present, and picking up where I left off in 2010? My Peacetree started, when it comes down to it, as love letters to myself. Years ago, I was in an unhappy place, unsure of my worth and value and role in the world. Uncertain of my future. And this blog was a part of my healing -- an outlet to explore, express, and examine myself and my life. Art and art journaling, and connecting with other artists, helped me to find my voice and build my self confidence. But here's the thing: I've changed.
I have come so far -- SO far -- since then. I can't tell you how proud I am for fighting through every battle hurled my way, fighting for myself. It was so difficult. But I did it. And along the way, I learned so much about myself. I learned that I am worthy of love. That I am whole, though imperfect; that I am more than capable of any number of things; that I am smart and discerning and deeply empathetic. That I am a fighter and that I have a voice.
And so I feel a disconnect from where this blog began and where I am now. I feel far more assertive and opinionated (whereas, years ago, I was incredibly intimidated by conflicting viewpoints). In addition to practicing self expression, I am deeply passionate about speaking up for those whose voices are trampled by those of the loudest -- especially children and those who are treated as "lesser than".
Darlings, the direction of this blog is going to change somewhat to reflect who I am what inspires me. For example, I came across two eye-opening articles this morning about women's rights (here and here) and was compelled to start writing. These sorts of topics are what moves me at the moment, and I'm going to follow where my heart is tugging me.
We'll see where it leads. After all, in my life there are always more goals than follow-through! I do have some art journaling projects tucked in my back pocket, but giving myself the room to grow, explore, and find what compels me is so important to my own journey.
Hi there, sweet souls.
I am, slowly, making my way back to this space.
I have been mentally preparing to re-enter the blogging world, to take the passing thoughts that bounce and flit around my mind like shy mythical creatures and transform them into something coherent for others. It's a strange task, once one has fallen out of the habit of solidifying internal thought.
Again, I realize that I harbor some apprehension about tending, watering, and pruning My Peacetree -- apprehension about living up to my own expectations of what it has been and what I want it to be. So right here and now, I promise myself to take this journey in my own time, in my own way, however that happens to look right now. People change, blogs change, and for anything thing to become great, we must start at the beginning (again). And that's ok.
So here I am and here this new not-really-first post is, unperfected, and finished.
See you soon.
I am still here.
I am still here, working hard, growing professionally and personally, building my life.
I am a nanny of three young boys, who fill my days to the brim seven days a week. I am an intern at a beautiful, creative, passionate organization that fights for children's rights to an art-filled education.
I am happy.
And oh, I am so tired!
I love this space.. And I love you. And I miss both of you.
And when my days are less full, when I have a few moments to spare, I will visit this space with joy and excitement and share all that I have been doing, all that I have done, how I have grown, and where life has taken me.
In the meantime, follow me on Instagram or Twitter.